Sonja's 1st Birthday Photos!!!

Add caption

Happy 1st Birthday to the CUTEST baby in the world!

This isn't all of them... but I felt like I should share at least some of them...

Bad News

Today was our first ultrasound. The baby was supposed to be around 8 weeks. It measured at 6 weeks 5 days and no heartbeat was detectable. This means that (barring a miracle) the baby is no longer growing and is no longer viable. Sadly, I am probably miscarrying and will know for sure on Tuesday when we check one last time if I haven't started naturally losing the pregnancy, and then if there is no heartbeat I will either get a D&C or take a pill to help my body pass the tissue.

I am heart broken, as is Jeff, and it's not easy blogging about this. I didn't want to at first, but realize that if I'm going to be public with sharing my good news, sometimes that means being public with really bad devastating news.

I realize that this is not my fault. Chromosomal defects are the main cause of this sort of thing at this stage in the pregnancy. We hope to try again in the future. That's all I really feel like saying about this subject.

Sonja is 1!!!!

Happy Birthday to the best baby in the world!!!!

Today she turned 1, and I cannot believe how fast that happened!

Sonja is such a joy in our lives, and such a beautiful and smart little girl. She's a sweet girl, who loves hugs and kisses and hates not getting what she wants. She doesn't like to feel left out and she hates it when I don't share. Sonja loves people but is also a little shy especially at first. She loves to "talk" and play with toys. She's a great kid.

Here's a few videos we took of her opening gifts... I promised to make these since she took a nap halfway through her party and had to open them after everyone had left.  We are so appreciative of all the gifts and especially of the love and support of those who came to her party and those who wished they could come to her party and sent well wishes even though they couldn't! Sonja is very loved! And I felt very loved as well :).

Thank you everyone for the gifts! I am so sorry if I didn't figure out which gifts were from whom, but I am very grateful! And so is Sonja.. as much as a 1 year old can be grateful!

The party went well. I made a smash cake. Sonja did not eat it. But I tried. It was really healthy.

 We decorated the apartment (by we I mean Meghan, Nick, Jeff and I)

 We got her another cake for the guests to eat.. yellow with strawberry filling.. it wasn't the hit of the party, but Jeff's chocolate peanut butter pie from the 1431 cafe was well liked.

Sonja wore her scotty dog shirt from Grandma and Grandpa. She did well considering how overwhelmed she must've been and attacking her cousin Caden... I felt bad about that. She just gets so excited sometimes she doesn't realize she's hurting people she just starts flapping those arms around. I'm not sure why she was so excited to see Caden, maybe she knew he was family?

All in all it was a good party.. and next years will be even better!

My gift to Sonja this year? A membership to Gymboree!!! I'm so excited to take her there every week and help her learn and grow with other kids her age!