Saturday, October 20, 2012

The Move to California and Finally Dealing with it

So I left a week early for California. I couldn't wait any longer. I needed to be with Jeff and my body has become increasingly uncomfortable.. it was time.

My mom and I road tripped, starting on Saturday. We went to see my sister, Valerie, who has been staying in Stephenville the last few weeks. We saw her, then went on to Lubbock where we bunked with my sister, Meghan, and her boyfriend, Nick, for the night. I also got to have dinner with my Dad, Bev, Bekah and Meghan that night, which was really great! I sure love my family and wish I saw more of them.

From Lubbock, we left early Sunday morning for Flagstaff, AZ. In case you're wondering, the drive to CA... not so beautiful. There's a lot of dead and ugly. But Flagstaff is like an oasis in the middle of hell, it's higher in altitude and reminds me a lot of Denver, CO. We got to Flagstaff early enough to enjoy a nice dinner, some down time and get to sleep early.

Monday we drove to Bakersfield, CA and stayed in a nice hotel in the middle of a very questionable neighborhood. My first impressions of South-Eastern California were not good. I was shocked at how barren and dead it was. Most of the drive I kept saying to my mom "it has to get better or Jeff totally lied to me." Eventually it did, some of the coolest things we saw on our way was just miles and miles and miles of fruit orchards and grape vineyards.

We made it to California on Tuesday. I love our new apartment. I think it is perfect for what we need, and I imagined I would begin nesting right away but I didn't. My mom left Wednesday and I cried really hard. I then spent the rest of Wednesday sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself... realizing exactly what had become of my life. I am in a new place, I don't know a soul here, and I'm so pregnant I can't do anything like join a fitness class, or get a job... I'm just stuck hanging out with my poor overly-loved cats. On top of everything else, Jeff is working really long hours at his new job in order to get this project finished by a very important date (pay-wise) and we're waiting on the first check from the government (which takes 6-8 weeks from when you finish a section of work), so we're living on credit cards until that first payment comes through... and then we will be fine. It's tense. I can't buy anything I need to buy to start really nesting. I can't distract myself in any way other than watching Walking Dead, and worrying about things. Akira developed some sort of seizure disorder when I was driving here, and now is on anti-seizure meds probably for life, and Puppy got an eye infection from being boarded while Jeff was in Northern California on a separate job. So I have to tackle him down 4 times a day and force goop into his eye. It's just sucky. I miss my friends, I miss my clients, I miss being able to vent to someone face to face instead of talking to  myself all alone in my apartment.

But yesterday I decided I need to do SOMETHING. So I went to a craft store and very cheaply bought the supplies I felt I would need to recreate a baby mobile I saw on Etsy. I ended up making 2... one for over the changing table and 1 for over the crib. One is a mobile of origami cranes I taught myself how to fold through googling it. The other is a cloud mobile with 3 clouds, each with their own rain drops, and little silver stars. I think they are going to turn out really great. So far the crane one is pretty much done and I love it. I may change out some of the cranes though cause I want the colors to coordinate with my overall nursery plan.

Moving sucks. It always has. I have never enjoyed moving to a new area, I'm not really outgoing enough to just make new friends immediately, I don't know how to put myself out there. I can make friends when I am in the right place, where I can meet people, but it's not like I can just walk up to someone in Target and be like "I'm lonely, you seem nice, let's be BFF."

So here I am. Let's hope I can find a way to make my life here not suck. I will probably start some prenatal classes next week and next month I will start my Hypnobirthing classes. I hope all of you are doing well :).

1 comment:

Marisa Pullan said...

You are missed and I wish we had been able to get together before you left! Take care of yourself - if you need/want to, you know how to reach me!

-Marisa