I lied.. I'm still going to post until this baby is born

My mom went to church today so I have a little time to blog and lament the fact that my baby still isn't here. I mean, she's here... in my tummy, tumbling around and letting me know she's here on a regular basis. Many moms say they miss feeling their baby in their tummy, maybe I will, but mostly I think I'll be glad to have my baby in my arms and not have to waddle to the bathroom and struggle to pick things up that I drop (I seem to have lost the dexterity in my fingers, so I end up picking up things a lot).

No, I don't think I will miss feeling my baby wiggle around in my belly, I have had enough of that to satisfy me until the next pregnancy... because I can't imagine I would want her in here more than I want her out, enjoying the world WITH me. I can't wait to show her everything! And I know Jeff is ready... he's been practicing his guitar and mentioning new things he wants to teach her. I'm so excited for her to have such a great dad. What a lucky kid I've got. She's got so much family who love her so much already...

I went to the doctor on Friday and she didn't have great news for me. First of all the horrible pain I've been feeling in my inner thigh/groin area is apparently not that uncommon, and there isn't much she can do about it. She did confirm that it might be a pulled ligament, but there isn't a real great way of knowing because that isn't her specialty, so if the pain still exists in a few months, I'll probably drag myself to a sports medicine doctor. When I say horrible, I really mean it. I don't typically complain about the minor aches and pains, but this is straight up wake-you-up-30-times-a-night-can't-put-your-pants-on-or-lift-your-leg-to-get-in-the-car pain.

On top of that, there is no dilation or effacement going on.. just softening of the cervix (tmi?). Also she said the head wasn't as far down as she'd like. She also mentioned that it's very possible it wasn't down because my bladder was full, and you can go from 0-60 with the dilation and effacement, so it didn't NECESSARILY mean I wouldn't have her soon, but I could tell she wasn't optimistic since she said if I haven't had the baby by Wednesday, we are going to discuss a plan. And I think by plan she means an induction plan. Which I really don't want to do but am almost desperate enough now to do anyway.

I'm hoping my baby is just an on-time gal like her mom. I love being on time. I bet I would've been on time when I was born if I hadn't thought it would be fun to come out butt first.. making my poor mom have a C-section. She might just be trying to get brownie points with Aunt Meghan by being born on her guess and her due date. That would be pretty sweet. Or she's going to make me wait, starting my lessons in patience early. There's no way to know what way this is going to go, so I just sit and I distract myself with other things, like last night my mom and I spent 2 hours looking at http://damnyouautocorrect.com and laughing so hard we almost peed ourselves. I mean, I was laughing so uncontrollably it started hurting and Sonja was kicking me like crazy cause I was smooshing her with every belly laugh.

Yesterday I tried a few more tricks to get some progress on this whole labor thing. I did a 30 minute elliptical workout, I walked around the mall with my mom for several hours, I danced (mom video taped it but was sworn to never upload it to the internet) to some dance pop music... I even bounced on my yoga ball as often as I sat down pretty much. Even my contractions have almost completely stopped. So I've decided to just stop trying to force things and let nature do what it was meant to do. Someday I will look back at these posts and laugh at myself for being so ridiculous. I should be enjoying my last few childless days, but I feel that I cannot do that, knowing what is to come, I want it to happen now. I cannot enjoy these days as much as I'd like because the things I would like to do in my last few childless days are definitely on the no-no list for a woman who is 2 days short of 40 weeks pregnant.

So now I have spilled forth the thoughts that have been racing through my mind over and over, and hopefully you are not all reading this wishing I would just shut up and stop talking. But mostly I keep this blog so I can put my thoughts into written text and look back later on certain moments and times in my life, knowing what was going on.

I wish you all a Happy New Year! Here's hoping I'll be spending mine in the maternity ward with my baby.

Christmas

I hope all of you had a great Christmas! I certainly did, and I wasn't really expecting much.. which might just be the secret to having a great Christmas.

See, Jeff and I decided not to get each other gifts this year, mostly because we would rather just use our money to buy stuff we actually want, and also we're having a baby, which I suppose is a gift in and of itself. So when you looked at our tree, there were about 5 presents total.

What I didn't know, was that they were all awesome.

We started with the gifts from my brother. He gave me a pair of Mario Bros slippers and Jeff got a shirt that said "Trust me, I'm a Jedi." I think our joint gift was a fake poo.. very mature, Jonathan. lol. His wife also sent me some baby things, the best being this awesome baby hat.. OMG it's adorable. I had registered for it, it's a bonnet with a mushroom on it, knitted. I will put photos up when the baby is actually wearing it.

One of my former clients unexpectedly sent me a gift, I was not expecting anything big, but she really went all out for me. It was very touching. She sent me a baby bullet!!! I was so excited! You have no idea, I wanted that so bad, but didn't get it at my shower and had decided I would just try using my blender and icecube trays... but the baby bullet will make making my own baby food SO MUCH EASIER!! I was so thrilled. But it got even better...

My dad sent a gift to me, Jeff, and Baby Sonja. He was very mysterious about this gift, and (as always) insisted that I not open my gift from him until Christmas Day. I did try to make him believe I had opened it before because I love to mess with my Dad, but he knew I hadn't.. mostly because I would've reacted already probably. He was mysterious about all our gifts ("our" being me, my sisters, and my step-mom) even to my step-mom and I know it drove her crazy. But he had good reason. Imagine my total shock when I opened our gift and it was an iPad 2!!!!! Yeah!!!! I opened it, started laughing and then got up and did a little crazy dance. That's how happy I was. I never actually considered owning an iPad 2 because it's sorta out of my price range... but I love the crap out of it already!!!

My dad also got the rest of his girls and himself some form of iPad 2 or iPad mini. And the whole reason behind it was for Sonja. Isn't that cool? He wants to make sure we can all FaceTime with each other and he wanted the screen to be big enough that Sonja can really see him and he can see her. It just warms my heart that my Dad is so excited to be a grandpa that he got us all iPads just so she could stay connected to him. Apparently he also got a book on 101 ways to spoil your grandbaby or something like that. I don't know that he needed more advice in this subject but I'm a little scared. lol.

My grandparents were not really that into me for the most part. My maternal grandmother and I had a special bond, but she died when I was pretty young and the rest of my living grandparents just didn't really seem to care that much. So it means everything to me how much my parents care, and how into the whole grandparent thing they are. I am so excited for my baby to just soak up the love and attention. I really am.

So yeah.. Christmas was great. And my final gift for the day was my mom getting here. She's here for baby Sonja's birth, and now we're both super impatient waiting for the baby to get here. I sure hope she isn't too late. Jeff has the next few weeks off, and my mom will be here till mid-January, and I want both of them to get in as much time with her as they can. So here's hoping she won't make us wait too much longer.

The Updated List

Unfortunately, we're nearing the end of the list, and no one has been right so far. Here's how it looks:


Dec 17th at 6:00 pm (April)
Dec 19th (Hana, my cousin)
Dec 21 (Kimberly, my cousin)
Dec 21 at 12:21 am (me)
Dec 24th at 6:00 pm (Aunt Sherry)
Dec 25 (Meredith)
Dec 25 (Alexis)
Dec 25 at 11:55 (Gloria)
Dec 26 (Ali)
Dec 26 at 12:12 pm (Jeff)
Dec 27 at 9:00 am (Bev - Step-Mom)
Dec 27 at 6:15 pm (Susan - Mom-in-Law)
Dec 28 (Jerry)
Dec 28 at 3:45 pm (Elizabeth)
Dec 28 at 3:50 pm (Aunt Didi)
Dec 29 (Erica)
Dec 29 at 2:45 pm (my Mom)
Dec 29 at 6:00 pm (Rebekah)
Dec 29 at 9:34 pm (Jonathan)
Dec 31 (Melissa)
Jan 1 at 12:01 am (Meghan)
Jan 1 at 8:55 pm (my Step-Dad)

I know I said I wouldn't be blogging for a while, but I woke up at 4 am this morning and couldn't sleep (AGAIN) so here I am blogging because I have no idea what else to do with myself.

More than half of the guessers have been wrong. No one has guessed she will arrive late, but I'm starting to wonder... I guess we will find out how well I'm progressing today when I see my doctor again.

My mom and I (in good fun) decided to try some of the old wives tales to naturally "induce" labor. I wouldn't even call it "induction" so much as a few fun things you could do anytime that in no way would force a baby out before it's ready.

Here's what we have tried so far:

1. lots of walking
2. spicy Mexican food
3. eggplant parmigiana 
4. me sitting and bouncing on a yoga ball
5. Raspberry leaf tea
6. evening primrose oil
7. rock band
8. this stupid stair routine I'm pretty sure my mom made up just to laugh at me
9. I even tried exposing my belly to sunlight and telling the baby that she's missing out.. something my friend Melissa told me she did and it worked lol
10. tried a few acupressure points
11. Yesterday I ate 6 dates 
12. I also ate 3 fireballs - those are spicy right?

Still nothing. I am having braxton hicks contractions but definitely no labor yet. I realize everyone keeps telling me to relax and rest and while that sounds incredible to me right now, I honestly cannot relax nor rest very well. My body hurts, I am pretty sure I pulled a ligament in my right thigh, I can't sleep more than 2-3 hours at a time ANYWAY and I can never seem to get comfortable. So to those who tell me to just relax, I say - shut up and bite me. If I could relax, trust me... I would.

Merry Christmas Eve..

This may be my last post for a while. My mom is coming to town tomorrow afternoon (Christmas!!!) and staying until mid-January to help me with Le Bebe. So I will probably not have as much time free to blog, because hopefully she'll be doing a good job distracting me while we wait for Miss Takes-Her-Time to get here and then when she does get here, I'll be learning about being a mother to a newborn baby. So... Again blogging won't be my top priority but I'm sure I'll get on here at some point and let you know all the glorious details of going into labor blah blah blah.

As I look at my countdown to Baby, it says I have 8 days. Christmas is exactly 1 week before my due date, and I'm starting to think this child may be fashionably late... mostly because I want her to be here SO BAD that I think Irony and Karma could not possibly allow me to have my way. It's just never that easy. I have to want her out so bad that the childbirth process won't even concern me anymore, I've got to be desperate I think... and I promise I am not far off. So far I have tried Raspberry Leaf Tea, Evening Primrose Oil, Walking like crazy, pretty much every old wives tale on how to get labor going, and I realize that really she isn't going to come until she's ready.

Oh and an awesome new fear that appeared for me this week, a girl in my pregnancy month forum found out at 37 weeks that what she thought was a female child was actually a male child because they had to do an ultrasound for some reason.... SURPRISE!!! And now I'm terrified that I'll give birth and the baby I have thought to be a girl since I was 20 weeks pregnant is in fact a boy and all I have to take him home in is a cheetah print dress! So now I have packed a more gender neutral outfit JUST IN CASE. Seriously that would floor me. I'm pretty sure they got it right on the ultrasound, but you never know, these things do happen. It wouldn't be devastating to me, but I would be sad that I had girled up his nursery so intensely, and I would, of course, have to rectify that so that one day in the far future he doesn't go through his baby album and die a little inside. Oh man.. that pink and white bird dresser.. That would definitely not go over well.  And honestly I have gotten so used to the idea of a baby girl, I think I would be a little sad... just because I feel like I know this little girl, and I have all these plans for her... all the girly fun stuff we are going to do together. But I won't dwell on it, just an interesting little side story here for my blog.

Today I got an early Christmas Gift!!! My Diaper Bag!!!! It's so awesome! I already packed it, it's ready to be put in the car, and filled with baby stuff. Here is a list of what the diaper bag has:

- 1 receiving blanket
- 1 soft lovey blanket (it's small and I want to use it if it's cold to put over her on the way to the car)
- 1 newborn size dress
- 1 newborn size giraffe long-sleeved footie pajama
- 1 0-3 month size frog onsie with pants (just in case she's a large baby and doesn't fit NB size)
- a changing pad
- a burp cloth
- wipes
- diapers
- washable and reusable breast pads
- mittens
- a frog hat and a little pink cap (I'll decide which one to take her home in there... couldn't choose)

I also packed a bag for myself, but I'm keeping that in my room till the last minute so I can add stuff to it, it's got (and will have eventually) the following things for me:

- my laptop & charger
- my camera and camera battery charger
- our Flip video camera
- a pair of sweat pants
- a robe
- flip flops
- makeup bag
- brush
- tooth brush
- tooth paste
- deodorant
- my wallet
- my hypnobirthing book
- sanitary napkins
- underwear I don't care about ruining
- a big over-sized sweater
- a nursing bra
- a maternity tank top
- maternity jeans
- my iPhone charger

These were packed with the help of several online lists about things you will need. I may have over-packed but I'd rather do that than have to send Jeff out to find things he doesn't know where they are in the first place.

I know it's Christmas Eve and I keep blathering on about my pregnancy and having the baby, but honestly it's overshadowing everything I do right now anyway, so I don't have much to say about Christmas. Jeff and I didn't even get each other presents this year because we didn't know what we wanted, and didn't want to spend the money... so instead we just have a few presents under the tree from my brother Jonathan and his family and my Dad. My mom sent us money which I already spent on my diaper bag, and Jeff intends to spend his half on a Kindle and some E-books. Which is what I was GOING to buy him as a Christmas gift before we decided to just use the money that my mom gave us.

I got a surprise package from one of my old clients, I almost cried when I saw her name on the box. I miss her so much. I miss all my clients. I was lucky enough to have some of the greatest people in the world as my clients, and I hope someday to regain that... I was a lucky girl. I still am, really. I'm blessed in so many ways. Getting that package from my client, it just reminded me how good I had it in Austin... I want to go back so bad. I want everyone to see my baby. Perhaps a trip is in order.. the pediatrician said the ideal time to fly with an infant is between 6 weeks and 6 months.. hmmm...

But I suppose Christmas isn't or shouldn't be about the gifts under the tree. It's about the gifts in our lives, and right now I have a lot to be thankful for. I've got a wonderful, handsome, and doting husband. I have 2 incredibly awesome kitties, who really do bless my life. I have a baby who is ALMOST here!!! I have parents who support me, and love me, and have been so amazing to me especially these last 9 months. I have great siblings who I love and continue to be on great terms with. I'm living the dream... who could ask for anything more?

Merry Christmas to all of you! I hope it's amazing and you get everything you hoped for!

Let's hope my next post has a little baby face on it!

The Nursery

I tell myself the nursery is finished, but deep down I'm not totally sure I won't change some things...

I'm still probably going to make an origami crane mobile to hang over the changing table, and I want to get a bed skirt for the twin bed we have.. but I am not going to freak out over it just yet.

Here are some photos of the nursery as it is now:

Here we have an old painting I did of a stuffed flamingo in a sexy pose. I thought it was a bit outrageous but I still love it... and thought it would be perfect in her bird-themed room. The damask window curtain is from Urban Outfitters, as is the rose curtain holder. The quilt on the bed is an heirloom blanket given to me by my mom.

Here you can see the espresso dresser in the back, the same one we got from Overstock.com for $150. I put owl drawer pulls on it. On top of the dresser is the owl lamp, a beautiful lace picture frame that has no photo in it yet, we got it as a wedding gift but never had a good photo or place for it... it fits really well in her room. I also have the cinderella carriage my mom used as a shower flower arrangement, I'm using it to store her hats and hair bows. We also have the baby camera set up, it's awesome, it shows color, has night vision, has sound, and we got it for a steal.

The little tiny house you see up there is filled with baby socks. It originally held a cute layette set from my mom and I thought it was a perfect place for tiny socks. The rug is from IKEA.

Here's a view from the foot of the bed. The dresser I painted now has this awesome changing table I got off of Amazon. What I like about it is, you don't have to put a cover on it, and it washes off easily because it's made of non-porous foam. It also doesn't slip and slide so I don't have to worry about it flying off the table while I'm changing the little one's diaper.

Here you can see I have added a crazy looking animal print box, this is going to be used for Sonja's laundry. I decided that rather than spending a stupid amount of money on a stupid laundry hamper that was ugly, I'd just use this awesome box... and I stuck the other pink feather in it for fun.

Here we have a view of the closet and door leading out of her room. This is her little book shelf, with a hedgehog night light also from Urban Outfitters, and all her books and stuffed animals in it. I also put my antique hand held mirror on top and the letter I made hanging over it on the wall. You can see I put a hook up for her little baby jackets. So cute. Oh and for the moment we have the handheld video monitor charging but eventually that will be in my room.

That's all for now.. I guess we'll see if I get around to the rest of my projects. Today I modge podged the dresser drawers in the bird dresser. I didn't get around to taking photos of it though. No big deal.

The Bird Dresser...

So... I am really excited about the pink and white dresser... as I said in my last blog post, I wanted to make it over. So I did. Blam. I'm that awesome.

Here's the before pictures:

Then I was like... Hmmm.. perhaps Pinterest would have good ideas of ways I could make this thing over?

It did... and it didn't. I saw a lot of bird murals but NONE of them looked like they would work on MY dresser.. so I free-handed a tree... and used some bird stencils which I then spruced up a bit.. but I used them as my base so I wouldn't totally screw it up.

Supplies I used: Acrylic Silver and Gold Paint MARKERS and some fine tip (SUCKY) Silver and Gold Paint Pens that were Oil Based... let me recommend against those, they totally suck and broke way before I was finished with them.

I then decided that since the drawer pulls that were already on there (even though they were super cute) were kind of macked up, missing jewels and what not.. I decided it was just not worth the hassle of trying to find the right jewels in the right colors and sizes to fix them, so I bought new drawer pulls.. birds!  I found them at World Market. They were pretty cheap, too!

Here's how it turned out:

The mural is not perfect, but I think that's what I like about it. It's got some character. And I had a lot of fun doing this.

I should mention installing the bird handles wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. The screws that came with them weren't long enough for these crazy thick faced drawers, so we had to go to Home Depot and find screws and then CUT them to fit properly. I needed Jeff for that.

Tada!!! Oh.. and I also found this cute owl lamp at World Market, and I got a plain lamp shade... which I decorated. It's kinda over the top, but I thought it was totally workable for the nursery..

I just glued ribbon around the bottom, made some felt roses from a tutorial I saw on Pinterest, and then stuck the feather in there for kicks and ended up liking it so much I left it in.

Tada!

I wanted to add that I put that cube bookshelf together all by myself... Normally I make Jeff do it but I wanted to see if I could.. and I did! It's perfect for what I needed it for! Got it at Target for like $20. I swear furniture makers seriously rip people off... I have done this entire nursery (aside from the crib, which I would NEVER skimp on and my Dad bought for me) for thousands less than I could've spent if I hadn't gotten creative and stayed stingy.

I'm still not sure if I'm going to get a glider.. I'm kind of debating that, and will probably decide after the little munchkin gets here.

Blog Out.

Another Project... Almost finished :)

This weekend I was able to FINALLY finish some of the more important purchases for the baby. I had to wait until our house was sold and we had a little extra cash to do it, but I am so thrilled now because the wait forced me to bargain hunt and wheel and deal and now... now my nursery is going to be awesome. Just wait. It also means I have something to distract me in these final weeks.

First I want to talk about the fiasco. Originally I wanted to buy an IKEA Expedit 4 square storage unit and the drawer inserts. I was going to use it as a bookshelf/changing table, but was really upset when shipping came out to be $100 all by itself. No. I will not pay $100 for shipping for IKEA. Sorry. I just can't. It's against everything I stand for. I'm cheap that way.

So, I started scouring the Internet for new ideas.. finally Jeff said, "why don't you just get a second, smaller dresser and use that?" Well.. I don't think baby needs 2 dressers, but I could store EVERYTHING else in there. Books, blankets, diaper stuff. It's perfect. So I set out looking for a dresser, only to be back in the same dilemma I was in with the first dresser purchase. Everything is too freaking expensive for me to justify the purchase. I just don't feel comfortable buying a $600 dresser. Ridiculous. I mean, I can see spending that on a stroller or something you use, that is a tool, that actually does something for you.. but all I want to do is STORE things in this stupid dresser.

Then I scoured Craigslist all night. Nothing good enough, people are really proud of their crappy stuff on Craigslist. I ended up going to bed all pouty and annoyed, poor Jeff. Then, this morning, I got back on Craigslist and immediately came across a dresser I found suitable. It was pink and white with specialty drawer knobs... and I knew I could spruce it up with minimal effort. Meaning, I don't want a sand and paint project, but I am totally willing to clean up the dresser, paint any chipped areas, and possibly do a hand painted design on the front.

Here's the new dresser. The guy selling it asked for $125, I got it for $100. I think I could've talked him down more, but since it was well maintained, I didn't want to lose my chance to snap it up.

I have big plans for this dresser. I want to paint a bird silhouette on the front.. maybe fix one of the knobs where the bedazzling fell off. I think all I would need to do is find a little jewel that matches and glue it on. I am going to wipe it all down tomorrow and see what I have to work with.

I really didn't want to have a lot of pink in her room, so this kind of goes against what I originally planned, but once the room is finished it's going to be a really (in my opinion) nice blend of colors so it's sort of just coming together as organically as it can.

Once I finish the dresser I will post some "before" and "after" pics.

I also ordered curtains, a cute curtain draw back, a night light, a great forehead thermometer, a frame for the bed we have in the room, etc. so we're pretty much all set.

I also got my diaper bag... finally. I was really disappointed. I went onto Amazon and the bag I have been keeping my eye on for MONTHS was gone. And everywhere else it's at least $100 more expensive.. so I decided to go with the diaper bag I wanted since I saw it like 5 years ago... it's Juicy Couture. Don't judge me. I love Juicy. I have only 1 juicy couture item in my closet, and that's a great workout zip up hoodie. Now I am getting a Juicy diaper bag!

Merry Christmas to me! My mom gave us some Christmas Money so I used my half of the money for this.. I'm also considering it my "push present" because I splurged a bit on it.. spent more on it than I did the new dresser lol. Oops.

I'll post more pictures of the nursery as it finishes, and when my diaper bag gets here I'll post that too...

Hope you all had a great weekend!

Funny Little Things about Pregnancy

I wanted to do a post on some of the smaller aspects of pregnancy that I will probably forget about, but would like to remember... most of these apply especially to the 3rd trimester.

- My cat, Puppy, loves to sit in my lap. He is very determined to do so even though there is currently no room. I've had to fight him off my bump every single day multiple times a day until we finally reach a compromise where he sort of just hangs on me somewhere and I allow it. He's currently pouting because I wouldn't let him creep onto my lap this morning.

- While I can still technically get my shoes on, it's not easy. Reaching for things on the floor is nearly impossible and incredibly uncomfortable. I've resorted to mainly wearing flip flops even though it's cold outside. I don't care. When I get on the elliptical, I wear shoes with the running laces, so they just slip on, no tying a bow or any of that crap.

- I wake up every morning at 2 or 3 am to pee, if not earlier. I then wake up again usually at 5 am if I am even able to go back to sleep. I then wake up again around 6:30 or 7. I have to usually get up at this point and eat because I'm starving to death, and then I go back to sleep around 8 or 9 and sleep till 10 or 12. I think my body is getting ready for a newborn feeding schedule.

- The baby loves to kick me in the ribs, she loves to move around, and one of the weirdest sensations is when she's tickling my hip bones I'm guessing with her fingers. It's an odd sensation but kind of funny.

- Heart burn. It's not as bad as a lot of women have it, but man... I have woken up in the middle of the night with my throat on fire.. now I keep tums near the bed.

- It's hard to get comfortable in any position. Sitting my ribs start hurting. Standing my feet and legs get tired and sore, and laying down my hips hurt. I can't win. The days I do elliptical are the worst for my hip pain, so sometimes I just can't make myself do it for fear of my ability to sleep that night.

- I can't seem to make myself eat healthy while pregnant. I was good at it before, but now, it's like... if I don't want the food, I simply will not eat it. I can't get it down. I'm hoping once I start breastfeeding I can get myself under better control. It's not like I'm sitting around eating bon bons all day, I just am really not into green leafy veggies at the moment.

- I was really gung-ho about waiting until 40 weeks to have the baby.. but as soon as I hit 36 weeks, it was like my patience ran out and I wanted to have the baby at 37 weeks, as soon as she was full term. Now that I'm 37 weeks and counting, I feel more and more anxious to get her out of me. I just want to be done. I'm uncomfortable, I'm big, and I'm tired of not being about to move like I want to or fit in places I should be able to.

- Seriously... every day things like laundry and bending over because you drop something have become ridiculously difficult and uncomfortable.

- Speaking of dropping things... I am the clumsiest pregnant lady ever. I drop food on myself all the time, without fail by the end of every day I have food on my clothes. If I am not dropping food, I'm dropping papers or keys or whatever, and it's really fun trying to pick that crap up off the floor..

- I love feeling the baby move inside me. It's an odd but comforting feeling. I like singing to her, some of the songs I go to are "Baby Mine," the song from Dumbo and "Dear My Love" by Evanescence. I usually sing these in the shower lol.

- Pregnancy has made me a little crazy. I over analyze and hyper-research EVERYTHING. Every single baby product on my baby registry was researched by me, and I've probably read over a thousand reviews since becoming pregnant. But these last few weeks my nesting seems to have decreased... I've been sort of lazy and not as hyper vigilant about cleaning and picking things up... I hope the nesting comes back soon cause I don't have much time left.

- Strangers love to ask me when I'm due, and what the gender is, and what we are naming her. Most people love the name Sonja. Some react sort of indifferently. I don't care, I love the name. I do enjoy the attention, but sometimes it feels a little awkward. At the moment any social interaction I can get is appreciated since I have no one here to talk to except Jeff.

- Strangers have finally stopped telling me how huge I am. I guess I now look as far along as I am lol. It used to be, you're only blank blank weeks along??? You look like you could have the baby tomorrow! Now it's like.. yep... you are almost there!!! I like it a lot more when people aren't telling me I'm massive.. I know I'm massive. I have the stretch marks and the aches and pains to prove it. I also have a full length mirror.

- I have a secret fear that I'll have the baby and she will be a boy. I have so many cute girl clothes and the nursery is all girl'ed out. If somehow the ultrasound was wrong and a baby boy pops out... we are in for some serious baby clothes shopping.. and I already cut all the tags off and washed the clothes....

- I try to keep my fears at bay but ever since I got pregnant I have always feared losing the baby. I think part of why I am so anxious to have her is because I want to make sure nothing happens between now and then.

- My family has been quite amazing about this pregnancy. Everyone is so excited, and it's been really cool seeing how happy they are about baby Sonja. I mean.. every single person in my family has been extremely awesome and obviously excited about the baby... it's been incredible the support I have gotten from all of them... something I guess shouldn't surprise me. It fills me with a new love and respect for my family, and makes me incredibly grateful for them. I know several pregnant women don't get the support I'm getting, so it's really a great way for me to see my family for what they are... amazing. :)

37 Weeks

Here I am at 37 weeks. Don't mind the horrifyingly ugly maternity shirt I'm wearing... it's one of the few that still fits over my ginormous bump. I think it's officially been upgraded from "bump" to "mountain."

Today was a good day. I interviewed a Pediatrician I had found through Yelp reviews, and sure enough he was great. He and I agree on a lot, and he gave me some great advice on some of the after birth care things I had questions about, possibly saving me from making a stupid decision by choosing the oral Vit K over the shot. I'm going to go ahead and allow them to do the shot now that I know that the oral vitamin K isn't effective enough to do the job.

I'm glad to have that off my check list. I don't have much left. I still need to get a diaper bag, order the bookshelf/changing station (I got this idea from Pinterest I'll blog about it when it's finished), and finish just a few things here and there like installing the car seat.

Now that I'm 37 weeks, the baby is considered Full Term!!! That means my water is free to break, and the baby is welcome from here on out. I am so relieved. I no longer have to worry she'll come early, I can actually enjoy these last few weeks, enjoy her kicking, and hope (deep down) that she comes before my stretch marks get any worse or I lose the ability to reach around my belly.

Tomorrow I go in for my 37 week check up and then my final hypnobirthing session, the one where I go by myself and get my final hypnosis. I don't know, this may be TMI, but after last night I'm starting to second guess my ability to handle birthing without help... 

See, I got a little sick cause I haven't been minding my food allergies, and I spent some unpleasant (to say the least) moments paying for my food related sins, and going through hot and cold sweats on the porcelain throne. My hypno-coach told me to try to use toilet time to practice my breathing, and I tried... but it helped me about 0%. So last night was kind of one of those epiphany moments where you start thinking maybe you've been naive and blind thinking you could handle child birth without drugs when you really kinda want to off yourself over some brief but intense intestinal agony.

Seriously. Have you ever been really sick and started making bargains with God? For me it often goes like this.. I start by telling God that if he will just make the pain stop, I will be better, I'll go to church more, or start praying again. Whatever it may be. Then when the pain doesn't stop, and I have been in agony for more than 5 minutes, I might get desperate enough to start making some serious promises. Like the kind of promises you know you probably won't keep but you really should keep... and then after about 20 to 30 minutes it gets really serious. I have found myself telling God that if it's my time, maybe he should just take me now because I cannot handle the pain and agony any longer. It's usually at this point that things settle down and I feel mighty silly for the mental bargaining and bemoaning, but that doesn't mean that in the moment, I wasn't totally serious about sort of being ready to die rather than feel the pain much longer.

It's this cycle that concerns me about giving birth. But I am not giving up on the hope that my IBS is totally unlike birth, and since it comes in surges and I will have breaks, I may be able to handle it drug free. Here's hoping.

Anyway, I know I still have 3 weeks and it's best for the baby to stay in until 39 weeks, but deep down I would really love it if she could come sooner. I am just so anxious to meet this girl, and I am trying desperately not to obsess over every Braxton Hicks or twinge wondering if it's a sign that labor is on it's way. I even wake up at like 3 in the morning thinking, what if my water broke right now? Wouldn't that be great? And then trying to imagine what I would do, what I would pack, how we would work it all out.  It's ridiculous. I cannot predict when Sonja will choose to join us on the outside, but I cannot wait! This is the best Christmas present in the world!

36 weeks... commence count-down

I'm 36 weeks today... holy crap. By next Tuesday my baby will be considered Full Term, meaning if I give birth a week from now she's not premature. So... Anytime in the next 1-4 weeks would be an acceptable time to have this baby. I'm not saying I hope she comes early, because I know the longer she has to "bake" in there, the better off she will probably be. However, should she decide to arrive a bit early (which she might, considering she is MY child) I won't be sad about it.

The only reason I feel very strongly that she should at least wait another 2 weeks is because her Daddy really can't take off work until then, and I am NOT finished with her nursery. But I have made progress... here's a photo of the progress:

As you can see, she now has a dresser (way nicer than I expected for what we paid), wall decals, all of her little NB and 0-3 month sized clothes are packed away as are her blankets, burping cloths, etc.. That "sheepskin" rug on the floor is from IKEA, I got it for $10 since I went with the fake one. I didn't think our baby needed to have a real sheepskin rug yet.. she'll probably vomit or worse on it and I don't want to be upset if I have to throw it away.

If you look closely, you can also see that we have her baby monitor, something I have yet to take out of the box and assemble, but I figure we won't need it at first any way since she's going to be sleeping in our room the first few months.

Yesterday I started a contest with my family to guess when the baby will arrive. Winner gets first phone call. Friends were also invited to guess but won't get first phone call, since I feel that should be reserved for family members. So far, the guesses are for the following:

(Earliest to latest)

Dec 17th at 6:00 pm (April)
Dec 19th (Hana, my cousin)
Dec 21 (Kimberly, my cousin)
Dec 21 at 12:21 am (me)
Dec 24th at 6:00 pm (Aunt Sherry)
Dec 25 (Meredith)
Dec 26 (Ali)
Dec 27 at 6:15 pm (Susan - Mom-in-Law)
Dec 28 (Jerry)
Dec 28 at 3:45 pm (Elizabeth)
Dec 28 at 3:50 pm (Aunt Didi)
Dec 29 at 2:45 pm (my Mom)
Dec 29 at 9:34 pm (Jonathan)
Jan 1 at 12:01 am (Meghan)
Jan 1 at 8:55 pm (my Step-Dad)

I'm still waiting on several family members' predictions but I'm pretty sure that these dates are nice and wide-spread enough that someone will win. As for my prediction, I originally believed she would probably be born around Jan 7th, but since I have been having more frequent Braxton Hicks contractions, and I just cannot imagine my belly being able to house this kid for 5 more weeks, I choose to believe she will probably come sooner than later.

I just hope she will wait until after I finish the nursery.. which is something I plan to go all out on this week and next. I've been stalking Craigslist and Pinterest looking for the perfect book case and toy chest and changing table... so hopefully my next post will be a finished nursery.