I lied.. I'm still going to post until this baby is born

My mom went to church today so I have a little time to blog and lament the fact that my baby still isn't here. I mean, she's here... in my tummy, tumbling around and letting me know she's here on a regular basis. Many moms say they miss feeling their baby in their tummy, maybe I will, but mostly I think I'll be glad to have my baby in my arms and not have to waddle to the bathroom and struggle to pick things up that I drop (I seem to have lost the dexterity in my fingers, so I end up picking up things a lot).

No, I don't think I will miss feeling my baby wiggle around in my belly, I have had enough of that to satisfy me until the next pregnancy... because I can't imagine I would want her in here more than I want her out, enjoying the world WITH me. I can't wait to show her everything! And I know Jeff is ready... he's been practicing his guitar and mentioning new things he wants to teach her. I'm so excited for her to have such a great dad. What a lucky kid I've got. She's got so much family who love her so much already...

I went to the doctor on Friday and she didn't have great news for me. First of all the horrible pain I've been feeling in my inner thigh/groin area is apparently not that uncommon, and there isn't much she can do about it. She did confirm that it might be a pulled ligament, but there isn't a real great way of knowing because that isn't her specialty, so if the pain still exists in a few months, I'll probably drag myself to a sports medicine doctor. When I say horrible, I really mean it. I don't typically complain about the minor aches and pains, but this is straight up wake-you-up-30-times-a-night-can't-put-your-pants-on-or-lift-your-leg-to-get-in-the-car pain.

On top of that, there is no dilation or effacement going on.. just softening of the cervix (tmi?). Also she said the head wasn't as far down as she'd like. She also mentioned that it's very possible it wasn't down because my bladder was full, and you can go from 0-60 with the dilation and effacement, so it didn't NECESSARILY mean I wouldn't have her soon, but I could tell she wasn't optimistic since she said if I haven't had the baby by Wednesday, we are going to discuss a plan. And I think by plan she means an induction plan. Which I really don't want to do but am almost desperate enough now to do anyway.

I'm hoping my baby is just an on-time gal like her mom. I love being on time. I bet I would've been on time when I was born if I hadn't thought it would be fun to come out butt first.. making my poor mom have a C-section. She might just be trying to get brownie points with Aunt Meghan by being born on her guess and her due date. That would be pretty sweet. Or she's going to make me wait, starting my lessons in patience early. There's no way to know what way this is going to go, so I just sit and I distract myself with other things, like last night my mom and I spent 2 hours looking at http://damnyouautocorrect.com and laughing so hard we almost peed ourselves. I mean, I was laughing so uncontrollably it started hurting and Sonja was kicking me like crazy cause I was smooshing her with every belly laugh.

Yesterday I tried a few more tricks to get some progress on this whole labor thing. I did a 30 minute elliptical workout, I walked around the mall with my mom for several hours, I danced (mom video taped it but was sworn to never upload it to the internet) to some dance pop music... I even bounced on my yoga ball as often as I sat down pretty much. Even my contractions have almost completely stopped. So I've decided to just stop trying to force things and let nature do what it was meant to do. Someday I will look back at these posts and laugh at myself for being so ridiculous. I should be enjoying my last few childless days, but I feel that I cannot do that, knowing what is to come, I want it to happen now. I cannot enjoy these days as much as I'd like because the things I would like to do in my last few childless days are definitely on the no-no list for a woman who is 2 days short of 40 weeks pregnant.

So now I have spilled forth the thoughts that have been racing through my mind over and over, and hopefully you are not all reading this wishing I would just shut up and stop talking. But mostly I keep this blog so I can put my thoughts into written text and look back later on certain moments and times in my life, knowing what was going on.

I wish you all a Happy New Year! Here's hoping I'll be spending mine in the maternity ward with my baby.